Chick Flick
by festival-chan loves books
Summary: Deidara took his girlfriend, Sakura, to a romance movie... But he's totally bored.  Crack pairing DeiSaku.  Crack fic.  Fluffish...


**DANGER: THE FLUFF CONTENT IN THIS CAN KILL YOU. **

This is my first attempt at a fluff fic with a crack pairing... And it's so fluffy on the Documents page I named it "DeiSaku Fluffyness."

And I don't think writing fluff is a talent of mine, to be honest... (I can write wives frantically running around looking for their husbands, but noooooo, not fluff... )

Maybe I'll get better over time...

And for some reason I just love this pairing...

Deidara says that I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Deidara rolled his eyes. 

Here he had gotten tickets to the romance movie that his girlfriend, Sakura, had wanted to see.

And it was completely, utterly, insanely, and sadly, boring.

The girl had some soap-opera name, and so did the guy. The plot was some convoluted and insane soap-opera plot.

Worst of all, they all had age-defying soap-opera make-up on, which was one thing that the artist Deidara did not like. Ugh.

This was the worst movie he'd ever seen, entertainment-wise and art-wise.

Deidara was not interested in it at all, but since Sakura had really wanted to come, he bought the (slightly expensive) tickets and came (movies were _far _too expensive these days... But he wouldn't let Sakura pay... he _was _her boyfriend, after all).

And he was bored, hn.

Of course, it was good that Sakura looked like she was into it, but he'd lost track of the plot.

During the first twenty minutes or so, when he'd been paying attention, the main character girl had broken up with her long-time-apparently boyfriend when they were way far away from home or something and she hitchhiked to get a ride home. If Sakura ever tried something like that... Anyway, the guy she'd gotten a ride home with was her "love interest," as Tobi had explained to Deidara.

And it looked exactly like this one movie Tobi had been sobbing over last week in the t.v. room of the Akatsuki lair. Itachi, of course, had snuck up behind Deidara, and said, "Your teammate watches chick-flicks," in a derogatory way that only Itachi could have done. Deidara (sensing his ego slipping away in the Mirror-Wheel eyes of Itachi, who he really didn't care about but who had influence over other people, like the leader, who Deidara wanted to be on the good side of) had said, maturely, "Shut up, Itachi, hn!" and brought Tobi another box of tissues to shut _him _up.

Deidara was running out of caffeinated soda to keep himself awake, so he resorted to planning sculptures. Then Sakura bent down, and he looked over to see why. She sat back up again, and he realized what his girlfriend had wanted (he liked saying that, "his girlfriend", he'd never actually had a girlfriend before... everyone thought his hands were icky. But Sakura thought they were really cool and held hands with him often.).

Sakura had produced a little square plastic thing of tissues from presumably her purse. Deidara didn't really understand, however, why anyone would carry such things around. For the same reason he didn't understand why Sakura carried around hand-sanitizer. (Okay, well, maybe he understood that, what with her being a medic nin and all, but why people who weren't medical at all in their profession did was beyond him. Of course, he didn't like the stuff, seeing as it was bitter. Not to mention the alcoholic content in those was high. Gross. He did not want that stuff on his hands. It tasted really nasty.)

Deidara glanced briefly up at the screen. "My darling, I love only you! I care not for that other woman!" cried an anguished man (who had been driving the car) on-screen to an equally anguished looking woman (who had been hitchhiking). Deidara was confused. He had apparently missed this other woman.

The woman responded, but Deidara didn't care what she said. He was attempting to peer into the popcorn bucket to see if there was any left, but Sakura, who had been chomping down on the stuff like there was no tomorrow (and really, she was a medic-nin, she should know better), had devoured it all.

Deidara chuckled to himself. At least she wasn't all into fat-free junk like that one girl... Ino. Yet another thing he loved about her.

He looked over at his pink-haired girlfriend.

She was gazing intently at the screen, wide green eyes sparkling at the corners. Honestly, why did she want to watch this if it made her cry? (Now he felt bad, he'd taken her to a movie and she'd cried...) Her nose was pink (and matched her hair) from when she'd rubbed it on a tissue.

She sniffled a little.

Deidara preferred action, really. Lots of fight scenes, lots of action, and lots of explosions, which were much more his area of expertise than romance.

He tried to listen to the dialogue, but it only seemed to prove that this was plagiarized off the movie Tobi had been watching last week. For one thing, it all sounded the same. But there were different actors and actresses, and the movie had a totally different name. And setting.

But at least Sakura was having a good time... He thought, anyway. She was smiling (very prettily, he thought) now through her pink-rimmed green eyes and clutching a tissue to her nose. He could only tell she was smiling because of the way that her eyes looked, which made him feel less guilty for taking her to something that made her cry.

It also appeared like the couple was getting married somewhere.

Sakura was leaning towards him a little, wide just-a-shade-darker-than-apple green eyes still absorbed in the large screen up above. He figured that he might as well put an arm around her, because she looked at him for a brief moment like she kind of wanted that to happen. So he did.

Her face turned pinker than her hair and she smiled wider.

The music in the background of the movie turned to happy music and the picture froze on the face of the very happy and no longer anguished looking couple. The credits rolled up across the screen and Deidara, having always turned the movie off as the credits started, had never realized how welcoming a sight they could be.

"Thanks for taking me, Deidara," said a still-pink Sakura. "Didn't you love the movie?"

"Yeah, hn," lied Deidara.

"Didn't you just want to die of laughter when she threw the salt shaker at her ex?" giggled Sakura.

"Yeah, hn," lied Deidara. He vaguely remembered something like that. Well... Actually, that was one of the few amusing parts...

"And wasn't the ending sweet!" she sighed.

"Yeah, hn," lied Deidara again. It was best to just agree on stuff like this. That way Sakura would be happy. And if Sakura was happy, then everyone (especially Deidara) was happy too.

"I'm so glad you brought me!" she said, leaning her head against his arm. "I've been dying to see that movie for ages."

"I know, hn." She'd only squealed every time she saw a trailer for it on television. Or when anyone (even someone she wasn't talking to) had mentioned it. Or when she thought about it. Naruto had said that they'd nearly had a failed mission when the target had walked by a movie poster for it.

"I just love romances! Don't you?"

"They're okay..."

"Aww, how cute! You're too embarrassed to admit you like them!"

"Hn." Not true, but he wasn't about to tell her that.

She sighed happily. "Next week, we can go to a movie of your choice!" she said.

Deidara almost sighed with relief. Maybe he could introduce Sakura to the wonder that was action films...

* * *

Cheese! Fluff! Whee! -explodes in large pink puff of smoke and glitter and Hello Kitty plushies-

I used to love "chick-flicks"... Until I was introduced to the wonder that is Naruto, that is... And various other manga... But who needs a romance movie when you can pick up Fruits Basket or something?

Manga is so much better in terms of content, anyway.

Rant done.

Please review...


End file.
